I was told be a friend that I “need a dorky girl and not a sexy girl like I always do”. They were also surprised when I said I try to take care of myself (my body), because I enjoy drinking. These things are offensive to me and I’m not sure how to approach either of them but I kind of just don’t want to be friends with them anymore.
got a $103 ticket for parking on the sidewalk
and my car wouldn’t start because I haven’t driven it in two months
so I pushed my car to a new spot
and found another $103 ticket that was underneath my car
i’m so tired i need to be loved
maybe I don’t expect my friends to help my emotional well-being
because I don’t trust myself enough to open up truthfully
so I don’t open up at all.
maybe I expect too much of them because I don’t expect anything of myself.
maybe I distrust myself so much I can never tell if what I think is true or just an idea.
maybe I don’t know myself at all
and the person that stares back at me
and tears everything down
and never lets me win because he always has to win
is just me.
or he is just another idea.
but I want to escape him
and I want to trust myself
but how do I know
can an idea be true
can I know myself?
my immediate answer is no
but I won’t trust that